Don’t know what I’ll say, but I’ll say it anyway.
Looking for a little bit of luck…
Wow! I am watching a television report about a comic convention in Toronto. I sort of shudder when I look at these people. But secretly I envy them. I’d be totally geeking out if I could go and if I had the splash cash…Man I’d be dropping money all kinds of crap that I really don’t need. Because the truth told, I’d be a bouncy and silly big kid there. I just find some of the folks who take this stuff so seriously to be scary….And I CAN SO BE BOUNCY AND SILLY!
So there’s a stirring in me lately, maybe just the past few days. It comes and goes. But it’s there. It seems to be strongest when I write, read or hear something of faith or of a higher consciousness. I think it’s sort of an artistic set of booster cables. Reading a strange combination of St. Augustine, Nick Cave, The New Testament and C.S. Lewis. Although God is a common thread. Is this the rock being rolled from the crypt? Maybe? I am not sure. But should it be…Come on Lazarus it’s time to get down with your bad self.
Clarity, epiphany, surrender and salvation. Such big things. I can dig myself into a hole if I think about it too much. If I try to hard to skin the cat. Something in faith itself says that logic and process don’t always work. That’s a panicking thought for a guy with an analytical mind. It’s almost a dare. Like faith and spirituality are challenging my mind to a scrap. There’s a good illustration, the fight between my heart and mind. Only I am not sure either would ever win out. But perhaps that’s good. Faith should be open to question, it strengthens in clear light.
Speaking of faith, I am living on a prayer right now (quit humming Bon Jovi you freak!). I have empty cupboards, empty pockets and an empty tummy. And have nothing coming in for a week almost. It is sort of worrisome. But I guess this is faith in action. Not to say I am sitting on my hands. I have been a couple interviews and put applications in this week. Nothing yet, but I know in this city it’s fighting an uphill battle to find new work. It’s frustrating. And I am trying to remain hopeful.
Okay no whining. I am not whining. Just sort of babbling…If I was whining I would mention I have no milk and I am almost out of coffee. Now that’s not fair.