10 things, pieces if you may

“Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free.”
– Leonard Cohen –

I figure by now if you have been reading my blog you know some of me. But there are other parts worth knowing about. So here’s a list of stuff worth knowing about me.

1. When I was 19 I tried to form a good old-fashioned Blue Eyed Soul band. Don’t know what Blue Eyed Soul is…Think The Rascals, Righteous Brothers, The Box Tops, The Faces or very early Rod Stewart. White boys with gritty voices singing black boys music. I would have sung, I have a great Blue Eyed Soul voice. I couldn’t find enough enthusiastic musicians who really knew the music. So it never got off the ground.

2. I’ve got a great voice for honky-tonk music too.

3. When I was a kid I’d sit up till the small hours of the night after everyone had passed out and listen to music and to my dad telling me all about his life and who he was. While he was too drunk and too high. Sure it was a crazy thing but it was a father son thing. And I can say I know my dad better than anyone else on this planet.

4. I saw my first dead body at about 10 years old and it never gets easier. And in the case of my father it was one of the hardest things ever. It made a mess of me.

5. I was once a pallbearer for a little baby who was stillborn. That was the hardest.

6.On a lighter note at various times in my life I have been a strict follower of Coronation Street. As a matter of fact it was through Corrie that I met my daughter’s mother.

7. That reminds me. I am a serial monogamist. I have been in long-term monogamous relationships since I was about 16. I just find that security and knowing someone far more interesting and attractive than chasing a new skirt every week.

8. I have been engaged three times, married once and divorced.

9. In my own way I love every one of my exes still. And I never really understood killing that love because it’s no longer right there in front of me. Love when it’s true and real lives forever.

10. I am kind of shy and grumpy in person. Until I am comfortable with you and then I can talk your ears sore. Sometimes I think my stream of consciousness babbling makes people think I am weird or burnt out. But the truth is that I have an anxiety disorder (PTSD) and I am trying to connect my  wires and rhythms to what you are. If this is strange I am sorry, I am socially awkward and probably a little intense and I can only imagine that you are sort of fascinated or afraid of me. I just want to make a connection. I am curmudgeonly and wounded. So I tend to be hard to understand. But mostly I like you. I’m harmless. I just don’t operate with people well.

Hey this was an exercise in self-aggrandizement if ever there was…My little light, gonna let it shine.

Be well, be love


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