And another thing!
“Ladies and gentlemen, attention please
Come in close so everyone can see
I got a tale to tell
A listenin’ don’t cost a dime
And if you believe that we’re gonna get along just fine”
-Steve Earle, Snake Oil –
Listen, this here is where the old curmudgeon comes out. I’m in a ranting mood and brother I got both guns cocked and loaded!
Speaking of guns…Okay listen motherfuckers. Anyone what knows me knows that I am a history buff. And in particular I am interested in World War II and what we did there. Now let me qualify this, see I ain’t one of them retards who is in love with guns, bombs and killing. In fact I detest all that shit and the Guns and Ammo crowd can kiss my pacifist ass. I instead see the nobility of boys sent to do a job and doing it no matter how high and terrible the cost. And I see the amazing heights of human endeavour that war brings, the incredible things we can accomplish when we band together. These kids and don’t fucking kid yourself, they were kids. Did a job that no one wanted to do but they knew had to be done. This includes my Grandfather who lied and went to war at the age of 16. Now here’s where you ask “Okay big mouth, what’s your beef?”…Well here’s how it goes. I am watching the Canadian History Channel and there is a show on about the sacrifice these boys made. About the actions of Canadian units in Holland and France. And before each segment after the commercials there is a warning. Viewer Discretion advised, contains images and language that may be disturbing for younger viewers…WHAT THE FUCK? It should say “Listen Chachi, go get your snot nosed little brat with an inflated sense of entitlement and turn off their whiny i Pod music and their fucking weak limp wristed vampire romances and make them watch this. They need to know this stuff or we are all fucked.” How the hell did we get so worried about offending someone even at the cost of a lesson in reality? I want my child to know, I want her to see, this is the terrible and disgusting shit we do when we are set loose. When we let democracy get over-run and when we demand our babies die in fields far from home. Because of stupid and ignorant idealism. Fuck man I cannot in good conscience call myself a good parent unless I present the world in all it’s faults and wonders to my little girl. I want her to be amazed at the goodness of the heart and the beauty of love. But I want her to know the truth. We are capable of horrors.
That brings me to another thing. The fact that most of the kids I have been encountering lately are wimps. What is the prevalent theme of “I am smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside.” in their music and their internet crap. Honestly I read this and hear it lately on an almost daily basis. What the hell? Is your suburbanite home and over-fed ass unhappy? Too fucking bad! Life ain’t suppose to fill you with a constant joy and flourish. It’s gonna bust your ass and make you hurt. But it will reward you. And you know what else, you are not going to like it. That’s the way it works. It’s surviving and growing through the shit that makes you strong. It’s the resistance that builds muscles. Here’s another surprise, you ain’t special. No honestly. Neither am I. We are raising a mess of kids telling them they are special, unique, one of a kind. And we are failing. We give these little assholes the world view that everything is about them rather than telling them that we live in a great big organism and we are all just legs that carry it on. We are part of a society and a community. No matter how dainty and sweet you may think you are. You are entitles to nothing until you earn it. Gifts are just that, gifts and gratitude is necessary. Now one other thing too and it brings me back to the point. Smiling on the outside while you’re “dying” on the inside is not strength or a sign of unspoken suffering. It just means you’re a big fucking dummy. If you’re hurting, then hurt. If you are crying then cry. Who fucking cares if anyone sees. It is inconsequential if it is acknowledged. Just be honest man, live close to the bone. Be real. We have enough plastic bullshit and artifice to go round. It’s okay to be who you are and it’ll make you stronger in the long run. It will not be easy and the bloodsuckers will eat you alive. But you’ll learn to be proud of what you are and you won’t ever need to apologize or go backward. You will truly be tough. But one more thing…Pull your god-damned pants up! You look like a retard!
One last thing…And this is more an observation. Is it just me but doesn’t Taylor Swift look like a pure bred dog that’s been over-bred and is slightly retarded? Kind of cute but not too bright? You want to pet it and give it a treat, but you know the little dummy is going to pee on your rug if you ain’t careful.
Okay so I feel better. Though I can go on for hours. But I am sure many of you do not care to hear the idiot curmudgeon dance and sing for that long…so I say to you…